


It's Called: Freefall

by maxiswriting



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, aftermath of a panic attack, description of a panic attack, is this romantic? Is this platonic? Idk man I just work here, self-deprecation, this is set when they're in college btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 08:17:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21491230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxiswriting/pseuds/maxiswriting
Summary: When Kenma steps out of his college dorm, all he wants is to get away from his very enthusiastic teammates for a few minutes -he only needs to get some fresh air and then he'll be as right as rain in no time.But when everything feels like it's crashing down on him and his frantic thoughts threaten to drag him under, Kuroo sudden appearance might just be what Kenma needs to fight against the falsehoods running through his brain and find his balance again.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 80





	It's Called: Freefall

**Author's Note:**

> (This is a commission written for [@ablackcatwithwhitepaws](https://ablackcatwithwhitepaws.tumblr.com) on Tumblr -thank you so much for commissioning me!!)  

> 
> _Scratch, kick, let gravity win like_   
_Fuck this, let gravity win like_   
_You could leave it all behind,_   
_even the devil need time alone sometimes._
> 
> -"It's called: Freefall" by Rainbow Kitten Surprise 

What made it all worse was that it hadn’t even been such a bad day.

Classes had been fine, finals had come and gone without a hitch and the practice game their coach had planned for that afternoon had gone rather well.

Then why was Kenma sitting outside at almost one in the morning on a Friday night, not-so-subtly hiding from his teammates as they happily enjoyed not having classes in the morning?

He honestly wished he had an actual answer for that.

Kenma shivered, hugging his knees closer to his chest as he kept looking forward.

Not that he was actually staring at something, mind you. Everything felt distant, unfocused, whispering thoughts slithering around his brain and dissolving into mist as soon as he tried to keep them in place.

All Kenma could feel was the biting cold on his skin and the erratic beating of his heart, pumping blood in his veins as  _ something  _ kept pressing more and more on his chest.

It felt heavy, dark, like invisible vines constricting his lungs until his breaths were nothing but short puffs of air and he felt dizzy with a lack of oxygen.

Something was wrong. Something was so, so wrong -Kenma could feel it in his veins, in his head, an imminent sense of doom bubbling and growing inside him and consuming everything in its path until he felt like he was drowning, falling down and down in infinite darkness like Alice’s rabbit hole. Only that this time, there was no exit in sight, no blinding light at the end of the tunnel.

_ This is bad, this is bad, what’s happening, something’s gonna happen, I don’t understand- _

“Kenma?”

_ I can’t breathe, help me, this is all my fault why can’t I breath what is this- _

“Kenma, can you hear me?”

_ This is bad this is bad something bad is coming I need to warn the others I- _

Distantly, Kenma felt someone gently grab his hand, soothingly running their thumb on its back as they tapped a familiar, regular rhythm on his wrist, right above his pulse point.

“It’s okay, Kenma, everything is okay -just breathe.”

_ No it’s not, nothing is okay I can’t breathe this is badbadBadBadBAD- _

Kenma took in a big, gulping breath, air rushing back into his lungs as he slowly became aware of the boy crouching in front of him.

Kuroo’s lips twitched into a small smile, giving Kenma’s hand a gentle squeeze. “There you are.”

“I didn’t go anywhere,” Kenma pointed out as his breath and heartbeat finally started to slow down.

“Well, you kind of disappeared on us, so,” Kuroo shrugged good-naturedly, trying -and mostly failing- to conceal the concern in his eyes.

Kenma opened his mouth -to say what, he didn’t know. But before he could come up with anything, a sudden wave of exhaustion hit him like a wall of bricks and he slumped forward, unable to stop himself as every ounce of energy seemed to have disappeared from his body.

In an instant, Kenma felt a pair of strong hands reach for his shoulders, holding him up.

"I got you, don't worry," said Kuroo, gently maneuvering him around until he had Kenma securely sitting in his lap, his head on Kuroo's chest.

Normally, Kenma would feel pretty embarrassed by the way the situation had developed -and he still was, if he had to be honest. But the part of him that just wanted to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment was currently being drowned by the part of him that just wanted to relax and soak in the sheer warmth Kuroo was radiating.

The latter ended up winning, telling Kenma's embarrassment to metaphorically go fuck itself as the boy unconsciously snuggled closer.

Kuroo snorted, a hand coming up to jokingly scratch Kenma's scalp. "You sure you aren't a cat in disguise?"

Kenma looked up and half-heartedly batted the other's hand away, squinting his eyes as he tried to look somewhat intimidating.

To Kuroo, he looked more like a pissed-off kitten, but he sagely opted to keep that thought to himself.

(For now.)

"You feeling better now?" Kuroo asked after a while, one hand laying on Kenma's lap as the other traced idly patterns on the boy's back.

Kenma shrugged vaguely, a non-committal hum escaping his lips as he basically melted under the other's ministrations.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Kuroo presses, voice strangely soft and gentle.

In response, Kenma tensed almost imperceptibly in his lap, the minuscule bitch in his breath immediately drawing Kuroo's attention.

"You don't have to if you don't want," he hastily specified, "but if you do, I'm here to listen, I won't even tease you once, scout's honor."

That made Kenma's mouth twitch upwards, so Kuroo counted it as a win.

"You've never been a scout."

"Maybe I haven't," Kuroo shrugged with a lopsided smile, "or maybe I have, who knows -I'm mysterious like that."

Kenma shook his head, trying to hide the fond smile on his lips, and relaxed back onto Kuroo's chest, closing his eyes.

Minutes passed, a peaceful silence surrounding the two -Kuroo was pretty sure Kenma had fallen asleep on his lap, or at least was growing very close to doing so. Maybe that was why he almost missed the next words that left Kenma's mouth, murmured so low he had to strain his ears to catch them.

"It's stupid."

Kuroo hummed in acknowledgment, peering down at the boy still curled in his lap. "What is?"

"I thought something bad was going to happen," Kenma grumbled, curling into himself, "and it was so  _ stupid _ , I know, but I kept getting this awful feeling and I just-"

"Hey, slow down there buddy!"Kuroo spoke up, bringing Kenma's spiraling speech -and thoughts- to a screeching halt, "that's not stupid at all, okay?"

"How is it not?" Kenma asked, arching an eyebrow, "I'm just making things up and getting unnecessarily spooked because of it."

"Knowing there's nothing to be afraid of and actually not being afraid are two very different things, you know?"

"Well, they shouldn't be."

"That's not how anxiety works, though." Kuroo pointed out.

Kenma looked away, not giving an answer.

"It was not stupid, Kenma," Kuroo pressed, "your anxiety acted up and made you freak out -no one can blame you for that."

Kenma shrugged, still looking skeptical, and Kuroo sighed.

"It's okay," he said, "I'm okay, you're okay, we're all okay. And if you ever need someone to talk to, you know where to find me, alright?"

Kenma nodded. "I know."

Kuroo smiled. "Good."

Silence.

"Kuroo?"

"Mh?"

"Thank you. For coming after me."

"Anytime, Kenma," Kuroo answered, holding him impossibly closer, "anytime."

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr at [@maxiswriting](https://maxiswriting.tumblr.com) or join my [Discord Server](https://discord.gg/jswxCA7) to hear me cry at three in the morning bc I can't write for shit, I need friends anyways :')


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